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Wednesday 17 December 2014

Keep calm and just keep calm

I laughed during the first vow, of course.
Who could resist it when he said, aku terima nikah dengan mas kahwinnya seriibb... seratus ringgit.
I know lah that you're rich, but the dowry agreed was only seratus, not seribu. 

Okay... Repeat... said the Tok kadi.

'Aku terima nikah dengan mas kahwinnya seratus ringgit tunai'

Alhamdulillah.

I knew. I knew it. I knew very well. So I kept it in my head

DO NOT BE TOO EMOTIONAL. IT IS A HAPPY DAY. HOLD IT IN.

*blink blink blink blink*

What is this water welling up in my eyes? 
Close your eyes and sniff!
Well now it's streaming down!
Quick! Find a place to hide and make it go away.
Keep caaaaaaaalm
Nope! Nope! It's coming again. 
Yes! yes! Look up and just stare at the ceiling
Look... Nobody is cryiiinnggggggg...
Then, the mom cries.
Oh my God. Should we cry together?
I felt like some part of me was snatched away by a Physics teacher.
Oh! Maybe he discovered a way to break the atoms in a human's body and take one atom awayyy.
Atom? More like an organ. 

I used to see it as a blessing.
And now I'm thinking maybe it is a blessing, but as a curse in disguise.
Because it is harder, harder and heavier to let go.
It is still a beautiful curse, though. 

A path towards maturity?
Can I just cry and take the road not taken?
Can I just scream and ask for my best friends back?
Can I just stomp around, roll on the floor, kick the wall and ask for my best friends back? 
Cannot! I AM F****** 26! 
People come and go, Adibah.
Only The One will stay.
Yang Maha Esa. Yang Maha Agung. Yang Maha Penyayang. Yang Maha Pengasih. Yang Maha Mengetahui. Yang Maha Pemelihara dan Maha Tempat Pelindung.

More are yet to come. Like i told you before, we must be independent and strong. 
Kita mesti matang! (the word that we hated so much before)
And may this kinship that we build together not be shaken by this small teeny tiny test challenge inflicted upon us.
Apalah ni! Kahwin saja puuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnn.

I love you, my best friend. 
Selamat menempuhi alam bahagia :)
Though we may not be privileged like before, I would try my very best to steal you from your husband once in a while. 
And we would chat about 'hantu house 31' over Neslo panas. 
EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. INSYAALLAH.
Just like how we went through 'hantu house 31' hahaha

Now I miss Fatin Syuhada Mohd Zainy 
Love you too, dooooooooooooooooot!

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