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Tuesday, 18 December 2012

Kisah yang sempurna

I am not very fond of Malay soap operas. The tacky story line and the indifferent actors are always disagreeable to me. Like how it always has happy endings, like how they always be together at the end of the day, get married and live happily ever after, like how all the villains always have the same expression while hugging the good guy (lifting their left brow, squinting their eyes and smiling) and like how their sons are always swapped in the hospital! Please notice the frequent use of 'always'. That is not how life usually works out, you know. Do you think taking someone's child away from the hospital is a piece of cake? Try it out first, and then make a movie out of it. 

But the other day, I watched it! Of course, throughout the drama i rolled my eyes, I cursed, I laughed (rofl some more) and I got annoyed. The drama is called 'Cinta Halal' and I never thought it is the first one to ever make me think deeply. It is a story about a man, wishing to get married to a woman who is wearing hijab, well-mannered, comes from a good family and has intellectual advantage as well. In the end, he discovered that the woman is just pretending to be his 'ideal woman'. And in his disappoinment, he said in this prayer (loudly, of course, drama Melayu):

"Maafkan aku, Ya Allah. Aku terlalu mengharapkan yang sempurna, terlalu menginginkannya sehingga aku terlupa, tiada yang sempurna di dunia ini, Ya Allah, melainkan Engkau"

Don't you think so? Well, I think so. To end, I shall proudly present you with the picture below. 

Monday, 5 November 2012

Should I not be angry?


I am so depressed that I don't have the medium to channel my frustration
I can't tell the lecturers that I haven't learned anything
I can't tell the examiner that i haven't anything 
All the presentations were merely a means to finish all the syllabus
without taking into consideration
'Do they understand'
'What can they do with this presentation? topic? input?
Input?
Can you even call it input?
Input downloaded from the internet! Haha! 
Call it an absurd
An absurd that might cost me a lifetime regret :(

1 week before the 'SPM' exam ... Shift 9... Shift 10... Shift 101
'Sir, will this come out in the exam?'
'No!'
We endeavoured to make the lessons enticing
We discussed issues
We argued, we agreed, we wondered...
Can the teachers cope with it?
Is the shift going to work?
Wait... is this going to come out in the exam?
'No!'

'So sir, what will come out in the exam?'
'Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 and criteria for textbook selection'
*LOST*
'Give me 15 minutes'
PRESENTING CRITERIA FOR TEXTBOOK SELECTION
15 minutes... 20 minutes... 30 minutes! 
Input? Intake?
Absolutely 101% no.  
Though I was present, I am uncertain of my presence
Just sitting there, fulfilling my societal role as a student
As the Malay proverb say 'Masuk angin keluar asap'

Spotted questions!
What is this? What is this?
Owh, this is the one which he EXPOSED us to for 15 minutes? 30 minutes?
Ahh... 1 week before the exam, the day when he realized that what might come out in the exam

Then, should I not be angry?

Saturday, 13 October 2012

My hair :(

You realized that your hair was getting frizzier 
Everything was wrong
It was too long, it caused you headache
The fringe began to poke your eyes
The length did not complement your face shape
Split ends were visible 
It was damaged, a real damage it was!
'I need a haircut'

But 
A moment before you stepped into the salon
Every reflection you saw in the mirror, on the glass door and on every piece of metal
Only seemed to show perfection
You found no faults with the hair
It was gorgeous
You could scarcely be certain, 'to cut or to keep'
and in the end, you decided
'I must keep you'

But
Once you reached home
You looked into the mirror again
The perfection you saw was just a delusion 

The same applies to relationship, how pathetic :(










Friday, 3 August 2012

Ujian mu


For your information my dear friend,
My recollection of you is only of the joyful ones
But lately all that I can recall of is you being in an ill-humour
The suffer may have blinded you that, your sorrow inflicts worries on us too

For your information my dear friend,
I do apologise…
For scarcely did I know about your pain
And how it oppressed your mind
The plight rendered you to be miserable
And I feel so helpless in the face of your grief!
There’s no other feeling that we desire for you other than happiness
Just to let you know,
Be strong and remember Allah,  
Doa anak yang beriman, insyaAllah akan dimakbulkan

Take care and have a safe journey.

Tukang pukul cohort kami. 

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Tomorrow is the 'dead'line

Borrowed almost 10 books,
but only after reading and flipping for 3 days
just realized that none of it is relevant to my essay


Printed not less that 20 pages of research papers,
and 1 day before the deadline,
it came to my senses that not more than 5 pages is worth my attention


Typed almost 1500 words on the word processor,
and when my motivation to finish the essay is at its peak,
managed to only fit 300 words into my assignment.


That's how unpredictable life is
You would initially thought that you're on 'top'
but the truth is, the top is actually not the 'highest top'. 

I have officially devoted myself to education for the rest of my life



Sunday, 8 April 2012

Terjah Ramadana!

It started with a meeting, ended with a surprise party
Who would have thought, after three times trying to prank her, this is actually the first that worked out. 
In a way, I was sad actually because some of our best friends couldnt be there. 
But life must go on.
If org London have the heart to eat at Rasa Sayang, we definitely wouldnt feel guilty eating Bakso and popiah! hahahaha. *macam la diorang jealous*
Anyway, Happy birthday my dear friend, may God grant you happiness :) 


P/S: heres a link to her post about the surprise The two aw(s): awful and awesome

As recorded by Adibah, as edited by Mr. Hafiz

Saturday, 31 March 2012

Engkau

Even 'I love you' is an understatement :)


Engkau senantiasa dalam doaku wahai kawan kesayanganku.
Cubit paha kau, paha aku yang rasa
Hati kau sakit, hati aku pun sakit
My countenance may appear as if I am unaffected
Like you, I endure the agony with great fortitude
But deep down, my heart is shattered too. 


I may have not the knowledge to comfort you.
But dont forget to remember, 
I am here to at least accompany you
and He is here, there, everywhere.


"(Know that true) believers are only those who have attained to faith in God and His Messenger and have left all doubt behind, and who strive hard in God's cause with their possessions and their lives: it is they, they who are true to their word!" (49: 15)
"So lose not heart, nor fall into despair: for you must gain mastery if you are true in  Faith" (3: 139)


You have to be strong! You have to and i believe that you can :)



Thursday, 22 March 2012

Acknowledgement...

I would like to express my gratitude...
...
...
...

Finally, I would like to dedicate this dissertation to my loving parents,
for their undivided love...

Wait, isn't it a shame that,
What you have in hand for your parents,
Is the worst written work ever done
hence the worst present they can ever get?

Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Stupidity


We lie to the people we love; we lie for the people we love.


The pleasure I pursue which culture has restrained, is now close to be known
And I know, such impenetrable act annoys you  
Whatever the issue is, it is far from my intention to be hypocrite.
I just fear, losing somebody that I love

I am so sorry... 

Just like facebook

When I first had my facebook, I was so eager to check my notifications. So looking forward to read every comment and reply. So frequent in updating my status. 
But now, nothing fascinates me. All in facebook has been made so familiar, so dull and so not worth  visiting. 


Similar to my academic performance. When I was first acquainted with this course, in my heart, I thought, 
'this is what I want to do in life. This is it. This is what I like. I can't imagine myself doing some other courses'. I promised myself, Yes, I will do well. 
But the motivation is so ephemeral.  The battle is long enough to detract the dream from being achieved.
The books seem so uninspiring, the modules appear senseless. There is just no warrant for such folly as coursework!

I have no clue, whether to laugh at life or to despair. Either way, 

I HAVE LOST MY MOTIVATION.



Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Pinjamkanlah hatimu

Jentayu...
Patah sayap bertongkat paruh
Patah paruh bertongkat siku
Patah siku bertongkat dagu
Patah dagu bertongkat kuku

Pinjamkanlah hatimu
Buat aku ;(